Week 4 (already!!!) and going strong (for the most part)

It is week four in my Body For Life journey, and truthfully, it has gone quickly so far.  On Friday, I will be 1/3 of the way complete.  I have already begun to see changes.  At the 14 day mark, I weighed myself and took my measurements.  I has lost 4.5 lbs and had lost 8" from my body, the most coming from my thighs (1.5" each!).  The results demonstrated to me that all my hard work was paying off.  Woo-hoo!  I feel thinner, my clothes are feeling less tight (I was just squeezing myself into size 16's when I began).

     

As far as workouts go, I am right on point.  I haven't missed a single one.  Not last week when I was sick and my nose was running nonstop.  Not the week before when I had to take my youngest to urgent care immediately after getting home from work, then go get the prescription then head home and try to get dinner on the table.  It meant a 7 am workout yesterday.  I am running farther and faster as well as lifting more.  I am kicking ass.

My diet, is a little more of a struggle.  I knew it would be.  Food is my vice.  My drug of choice.  I am doing okay, but not adhering to the guidelines quite as strictly as I should.  I know this is going to come back and bite me. I tell myself I need to tighten up my diet, but I find myself craving salty snacks and having a difficult time telling myself "no".  This is odd for me, because sweets have always been my weak point, but I haven't touched the kids Halloween candy and really haven't even been tempted too.  I want Cheeze-its, and pretzels and popcorn.   

I weigh myself and take my measurements again on Friday, day 28.  I am curious to see what they will be. Still moving in a positive direction hopefully, but probably not so drastic as the first time.  I checked my thigh measurement three times that first time because I couldn't believe that they had shrunk by so much in such a short period of time.  

I have my follow up appointment with my specialist on Nov. 26th.  I am hoping the 17 viles of blood I had drawn will provide some answers.  He told me that I am fortunate to have discovered this Lupus Anticoagulant.  Many people don't until they have had a heart attack or a stroke.  It is hard for me to be happy about that because I had to lose my baby to find out.  I guess he is my little angel.  He, quite possibly, saved my life.  What a conflicting set of emotions.  I am grateful to be here and able bodied, but I am still heartbroken over losing Henry, especially as my due date approaches.  

Thanks everyone for all of the support thus far!  I will keep you posted on my progress.  :)

My "Body For Life" Challenge Days 1-4 (Am I skinny yet????? )

I am already on day 4 of my Body for Life challenge.  Initially I had planned on staring on Monday, but I actually started two days sooner, on Saturday.  As part of the eating plan you get one "free day" every week and I want mine to fall on Fridays.  My husband's days off are Thursday and Friday, so if we go out for dinner or order pizza, it is usually a Friday.  

So far, I am rocking it, if I do say so myself.  I have been following the diet and exercise guidelines, and so far, so good.  I know there will be times I struggle, but week one, thus far, has been a breeze.  I know it is completely unrealistic, but of course, I am disappointed that I don't already see results.  That is kind of how I am.  I have been eating right and exercising for a few days...am I skinny yet?  I'm (sort of) kidding.  I know  that will come with time and dedication.  I didn't gain this weight overnight, it isn't going to come off overnight either.  

Today on my run, yes, that's right, I went running, the Kelly Clarkson song "Stronger" came up in my playlist and I was thinking how appropriate it was.  What doesn't kill us really can make us stronger.  But only if we let it.   

Thanks Kelly.  You helped me run (err, um, jog)  that last quarter mile home instead of walking it, despite the fact that my legs are insanely sore from my lower body workout yesterday.  

Something needs to change....

This has been the worst year of my life.  Hands down.  2012 began with my husband and I going through a bit of a "rough patch".  I will spare the details, but we began going to marriage counseling to work through our problems.  Then in April I found out I was pregnant with baby number three.  After overcoming the initial surprise, we were, of course, overjoyed.  I almost took it as a sign that we were going to be okay.  Then on July 3rd, the unthinkable happened.  I was 16 weeks pregnant and at a regular prenatal appointment the baby's heartbeat could not be found.  An ultrasound confirmed that the baby had died within the past week.  I had to call my husband from my Dr's office and tell him over the phone that we had lost our baby.  We were devastated   How were we going to tell our 4 year old, who was very excited to be a big brother again?  How was I going to find the strength to get though this?  I didn't know.

I was in my second trimester.  This wasn't supposed to happen.  Everyone knew I was pregnant, I had announced it on Facebook for God's sake.  How was I going to tell the world that we had lost the baby when I had a hard time even saying the words out-loud?  On July 9th I was induced, and delivered a tiny little boy.  We named him Henry.  Two days later we buried him with my husband's grandparents.  I was reeling.  I felt so lost.  And different.  I had been profoundly changed by the events of the previous week.  I felt some sort of need to express that change outwardly somehow.  I contemplated dying my hair purple or pink.  Something.  Something to show the world how different I felt. However, I didn't know how to demonstrate the profound change I had just undergone.  At times, I almost felt like I looked different when I saw myself in the mirror, even though I knew I didn't.  I knew I needed time to heal, hopefully that would help. I dreaded going back to work and seeing the look of pity in everyone's eyes.  Or worse yet, having to tell the people who didn't know.

The ordeal was not over for me, however.  Two of my blood tests done following the miscarriage came back abnormal.  I tested positive for CMV, and had contracted it sometime during my pregnancy.  Normally a pretty benign virus, it apparently can cause fetal demise if contracted during pregnancy   I also tested positive for Lupus Anticoagulant.  This can be a sign of  many different problems;  rheumatoid arthritis, lupus or several blood clotting disorders, to name a few.  Lupus anticoagulant is also NOT a good thing to have during pregnancy   Untreated, it can also lead to miscarriage, usually in the second or third trimester   My poor little boy didn't stand a chance.  It was very hard for me to know that my body had killed him.  My body had betrayed both of us.  

So here I am, three months later.  Waiting for my appointment with the specialist.  Still feeling different and not knowing what to do about it.  I am overweight  (okay, okay, obese) and incredibly unhappy.  The time is now.  I have to get healthy.  I have to help myself.  I don't want Henry to have died in vain.  This is my chance to change my life a be a healthier, happier mom for the two children I have here with me.  I need to use this as my wake up call.  

Monday I am starting "Body for Life".  A total mental and physical transformation, or so the book says.  Good. That is what I need.  I have had my doubts about whether I can do this or not, but I need to let go of those.  I survived the loss of a child, I can survive 12 weeks of clean eating and exercise.  This is my opportunity to prove to myself that I can do it.  I am confident.  My shopping list and meal plan for the upcoming week is made.  I am excited to begin.  I just need to go shopping and take my before photos.  

This is the transformation I need...for my outside to match how I feel in the inside.   

Here we go...

Well, here we go.  My name is Sarah and I am a busy mom of two crazy boys, ages (almost) 5 and 3.  They defiantly keep me on my toes.  My life is nuts (as anyone with kids can understand), but wonderful.  My husband and I have been married for six years and he is a corrections officer.  I work part time in the specialty cheese shop in our local supermarket, so I know way more about cheese than I have ever imagined that I would.  I feel very fortunate that I have been able to work part time for the past five years, allowing me more time with my kids.  Although that has meant less time with my husband.  Working opposite shifts for five years has not given us a whole lot of quality time.  This year, because of it, our marriage began to suffer somewhat.  After six months of working on it though, I think we are finding our way back to where we belong.  Things, for the most part, between us are better than ever.  Yay!

I love to cook and based upon what my husband says, I think that I am pretty good at it.  I may post recipes from time to time.  I am not quite sure what I want this blog to be yet, but I am hoping it will take shape as I get going.